Monday, May 30, 2011

SURPRISE!

So...I guess it's that time of the year where one reflects on everything. I honestly usually avoid this because it forces me to take a good look at things I put in a box and hide in my closet. Sometimes, however things find you whether you want them to or not....I know I have said this many times and I wonder when will I finally get it. Things may get hidden or you may forget about them but sooner or later you will have to face them. It hit me today while I was watching a movie, Bridesmaid. Who knew, life would just smack me with the facts. I think it was trying to get my attention but I kept ignoring the messages. It came loud and clear. I guess I sometimes just need the message to be transmitted to me by a bullhorn. I GET IT. I really do.

This Tuesday is my boards exam and I actually have a good feeling about it. I feel a lot more confident...there is a part of me that is thinking I am being too optimistic but I am trying to shut here up. I guess who needs that part of me when reality is more than happy to take that role. I am going to listen to the part that believes in happy endings and that dreams do come true.

The next chapter is going to start soon. I can feel it. I imagine someone reading the story of my life, they would be about done with this book and picking up the sequel. The sequel is going to be good. I am determined to making it happen. I am not saying there won't be mistakes...let's not kid myself. It is me after all but I am done with being treated like a spare tire. I am not going to apologize for my choices. I have this one shot and I am going to do it my way. So either jump in and hold on or move out of my way. I am not slowing down...I actually like the brakes are broken so HERE I COME!!!!!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

SO...

Tonight was one of those nights where I will just look back and smile. I had a great meal with friends I haven't seen in forever and it was so much fun to catch up. I am on this "thing" that goes on to end of June and I can't wait until it's over. It was a nice break. I will be back on the wagon tomorrow. I just have to say the food was good and I love the company. There were definitely highlights to our meal and some not so high points but when you aim for the moon, no matter what you are among the stars. life really has a funny way of turning out. i am about to start the next big chapter and closing this one on tuesday. i feel good about it and maybe i shouldn't be so optimistic but i can't help it. for this moment, i am happy. reality will come soon enough but right now at this moment, i am happy. the future is so bright and i have so many options...it really is nice to not lead my life as a reaction to other people's choices. it's my turn and there's no looking back. I AM READY...no matter what world, bring it on!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Different Pot?

It feels like I am cooking the same dish over and over but just changing pots. They are stacking up in my sink and I am dreading to wash it. I wash one now and again but the pile is still high. I am not sure when I will roll up my sleeves, put on some gloves and get to it. I hope I do it before something foul starts to grow. Please note...this isn't literal. My sink is clean except a single Tupperware that was used to hold my strawberries today.

SIGH...

So I was supposed to take my boards yesterday but I decided that I should push it back a week. I have to say I think I made the right choice. I was in an absolute panic mode and most likely I would have passed but I think this is one time where I really should be safe than sorry. I am suppose to be studying right now but obviously I am not. A probably not so good decision but oh well. I need a break. My eyes are getting cross-eyed and I went to my favorite pasttime....looking at menus of different restaurants I want to eat at. I really need to find someone to finance this habit. I also need to come up with a way to try all these different things and not let it affect my waistline. Speaking of which...I can't wait until end of June. Hopefully, by then my food habits will be able to return to normal and I won't have to look but I could actually taste it. Three days have past...39 days left to go. Here is to being determined and not giving up. I am looking forward to the feast at the end...how about that for irony.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Hide and Seek

You would think I have learned this lesson by now but apparently I haven't. There are things that you think you can hide from but they will always find you one way or another. It's just a matter of time...maybe its best to deal with it when you first have to. Procrastination gives you the allusion of freedom but in reality it makes an anthill a mountain.
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